About Me

My equally mouthy and statuesque older sister and I left classes at Arizona State University, driving all night to reach Los Angeles California dead set on a fun filled spring break.  It was cool, fresh and breezy as we approached San Diego, beat the hell out of the relentless heat that was quick approaching in Tempe.  Our destination was the Travel Lodge motel in Encino, best rate we could find so we took it.  Cruising down the L.A. freeways toward the San Fernando Valley was exhilarating.  Shortly after sunrise we pulled into a local deli for breakfast.  We ate like starved pilgrims.  Phyllis paid the check and I walked outside to buy a paper and check out the local happenings.  A tall, in shape, handsome and friendly man started talking to me.  Phyllis came out and his eyes bulged.”Would the two of you like to have dinner tonight” he casually asked.  Free food to college students, our immediate answer was yes.  He agreed to pick us up at our Motel.  What to wear wasn’t an issue. Phyllis was living on her own, supported with a work study job in Current Periodicals at the University library.  I lived at home and a mountain bike was my only means of getting around.  We put on some clean jeans and t-shirts and hopped into his Sedan de Ville.  “I decided to cook at my place, hope you don’t mind he offered with a polished and casual air.”  Who is this guy, I’m starting to think.  If he’d been a Rancher, Farmer, Cowboy, Professor or construction worker I could read him, but he wasn’t.  He was the Jay Leno of Australia.  A bonna-fide big time TV personality and I was sitting next to him.  Phyllis still has a copy of his autographed black and white head shot.  We arrive at his swanky, security controlled condo and go inside.  It’s nice.  Big over stuffed couch, matching dishes on the dining table, European cookware on the stove.  A couple bottles of wine and a visit from a Hollywood A-lister to confirm their tennis match the following day added to the excitement simmering inside my 20 year old psyche.  Let’s play some games he suggested after dinner.  Phyllis was the Monopoly queen and many summers on my Grandfather’s remote homestead ranch had allowed me to be a better than average poker player.  Those weren’t the kind of games he had in mind.  It seems we reminded him of his ex-wife.  A tall, well built and very kinky Las Vegas showgirl who had introduced him to BDSM and held him in her grasp.  They had parted ways on the recommendation of a major network.  If he wanted to stay, she had to go.  Out of the closet comes a helmet with horns and a breast-plate.  “I’ve got these for starters and there’s more”. “The Valkyrie” Phyllis says.  Her major in English and double minor in Art History and Library Science make this historical type costume immediately recognizable to her.  I stayed quiet, studied his facial expressions, tried to get a better look at the contents of the closet and knew nothing about the Valkyrie.  “Put it on, it will fit you, you are exactly her size.”  It ended up being a complex night.  Phyllis pooped out after an hour but I was drawn into this whole big experience of emotion, texture, role play, physical force and make the fucker surrender under the heel of my boot (his ex-wife’s boot).  It ended with some domestic potty play.  He sat on the toilet and I poured hot water from the faucet on his penis while he stroked it and promised mommy he would be a good boy.

 

The next morning found us at Venice Beach. Skaters, bodybuilders, cyclists, panhandlers, street vendors.  It was like a carnival on the boardwalk.  Sure beat my usual Saturday job of mowing the lawn.  I kept thinking about the night before.  It was like a combination of a Salvador Dali Painting, Karl Jung’s archetypes, a David Lynch movie and a sex toy shop.  “Nature favors the female” my half Cherokee, half French Grandfather used to say as we surveyed the horizon while both domestic and wild animals mated on his remote Arizona ranch.  I’d spent every summer with him there from age 8 to 18 when he died in a truck accident.  During the school year from age 6 thru 10 I attended night classes at ASU with my mother.  She was studying Psychology.  I would draw or read or sometimes listen to the lecture.  Topics of the day were Feminism, Gender Equality, the unconscious mind, B.F. Skinner’s behavior modification theories etc. My life all coalesces into the experience of the previous night.  It makes sense in a way I can’t describe yet understand on a primal level, I am an Alpha Female.

 

Spent and sunburned we return to our Oasis, the Travel Lodge.  We immediately fall asleep on the cool crisp white sheets.  The phone rings, I answer, it’s him.  “Do you guys want to come back over tonight?”  He serenely asks.  “Phyllis, wake up, you wanna go back over to the movie star’s place tonight?”  “For money”, she mumbles. “How much?” he asks.  How much ya want Phil?” “Five hundred dollars each”. Fine is his instant answer.  “See you two at seven ok?”.  “Ok” I reply. I hang up and start whoohooing.  Phyllis we just made five hundred bucks each!”  “No, you just made five hundred bucks cause I’m not going.”  This guy wants us to tie him up, spank him, dress him in his ex-wife’s clothes, pretend we are historical figures, dress him up in our clothes, kick him in the balls, pee and spit all over him and slap his face.  Are you crazy?  Never been saner Phyllis.